The Prophetic Voice

Finding one's voice is a life-long journey. I am not speaking to the vernacular nor the articulation of one's native language. I am speaking to the God-made prophetic voice within each individual that sees and wants to speak truth to individuals and situations that need critique and correction. So what's the problem with us all to use and speak to the voice within us?

I believe it is blood. You will bleed when you begin to use this voice. You will make good friends angry- even violently seeking retributive justice for your words which cut so deep. The speak truth, is to invite conflict but also ignite change. People resist change at almost any cost.

I hope I can find enough courage, enough guts to use the prophetic voice God has put inside me for it has become like a burning coal shut up in my bones and I have become weary of holding it in and indeed I cannot.

May we all strive to give voice to that which lies within us all for then true joy, true character, authentic living rises and lives.

The Day the Earth Stood Still

Unvarnished and Unapologetic

So here it is: If I am guilty of anything I hope it is the following:

1) loving people too much- all people! So I love gay and lesbian, black, white, Mexican, drug addicts, drunks, trailer trash, suburban middle class, Latino, poor, and I guess rich if I have too- this pretty much makes a lot of people angry. I love the angry too. If I wasn't convicted to do this, I would take the road most traveled and just try not to rock the boat but I can't. It is not that I won't. It is that I can't. It has become a calling, beyond a socio-ethic to a spiritual act of faithfulness. What I struggle with is loving the victim and the victimizer, the outcast and those who has ostracized, the minority and the majority, the angry and the sad, the hurtful and the harmless - all the same.

2) Being faithful. Not the nice neat- they told me so therefore this is how I act sort of thing but the faithfulness that transcends comfort. I want to be so faithful that it drives people crazy. When people see radical faithfulness (by the way there is no difference in true faithfulness and radical faithfulness except its rarity in today's world), they get angry but this is only the first phase. The second phase is hopefully reflection. The questions begin. Things can no longer be so cut and dry. Then searching ensues and hopefully a new reality is established that is more faithful. Myself- I am of the utmost sinners- the list is long, sorted and pathetically repetitive but I am a work in progress.

3) Be able to take criticism- whether jaded or gentle- and grow from it without wrecking my life, my self, and my calling. I am no where close to this one but hopefully someday I will be mature enough to handle this. I want to meet someone who can model this for me- so far everyone I meet struggles with this too. There are a lot of people who do well to dish it out and no one who can just take it- someone who can mine out the Truth and discard the trash and grow from the experience.

4) Listen. The kind that whenever people walk away they know that they have been heard. This comes from the first three actively in place.

5) Being real. The unvarnished, unapologetic real God-made man that I was created to be- even if there are times that my true identity and true self make people uncomfortable or even angry.

6) Beat the stats. Live longer, stronger, wiser, and more generous than what was modeled to me- by the way both of my parents are gonna be hard to beat at this.

So first and foremost I am guilty of a lot of unfaithfulness of two main varieties: 1) my own actual sins- both those I which I know and still do and those of which are off my radar but in my ignorance I inflict on others and 2) fear- that which prevents me from being and realizing the best inside me.

Lastly, in my smoke and mirrors, I try to cover up my ignorance with fancy words and novel idealism's yet I am still me. I hope that I can be me- more me every day- not the me that I want but the me that God wants- and hopefully along the way sort out the two and discard the first. So I guess its time to take out the trash, make some room for some new work, and keep on keepin on.

If I see you on the "via de la rosa" we can bleed together. Peace.

Grace is our only hope- well that and a swift kick in the rear!

Contradictorious to the vindictive tendencies I bury deep inside I continue to pursue enlightenment for whatever it is worth. I am so freakin' human and that is so not cool. I hope to one day inspire to such maturity as that modeled by the young boy reading for his bar mitzvah in "keeping the faith" who embraces the manta "I love that I suck, I love that I suck and I love that I suck". Not just to embrace my own wanting but to embrace it with zeal, fervor, and acceptance. In this quasi-neo-Marxist radicalism I currently find myself, why am I so surprised to find such critique? Yeah that's right- another loud liberal shouting out truth about the institutional sins we have participated in through our ignorant apathy and deaf capitalistic imperialism of which I am of greatest guilt. I have found the enemy, the new Rome, and it is us. God help us.

The British are Coming!

Silence the voice. Shut up and quit talking. Turn out your lights and let us close our eyes. Not only are they happy to blindness, they deny its presence. They pray for silence, pray for darkness. Build some walls, bio-dome it all and maybe it will go away.

Ha! "Such a time is this!"

Cry out into the night.

Stir up a persistence annoyance where eyes grow weary of rest, where ears grow weary of deafness.

We all see it.

There's a big elephant and it very well may be Jesus which is waiting, expecting even, acknowledgment for a start.

I cannot hold it in and indeed I will not.

A is for things I don't know

Ahistorical, Aethical, Atypical, anthropomorphism, analogical predication, axiological grid, blah blah blah.
School is what it is. School.
Give me patience Lord.

Domination: A Persistant Resistance to Lies

Hello my name is Zeke Allen, I have yet to be sober for any amount of time but I am here and that is worth something I guess. I have participated, propagated and been subjugated to the powers of domination. Through years of enculturation, both consciously and subconsciously, it has seeped into my being and now I am left to sort through my mess and begin some spring cleaning.
In our country and world, radicals are killed. By radicals I mean, those that refuse to give in to and consciously rebel against oppressive systems. I am part of some of these systems of oppression. Within the Christian church at large, anyone who speaks against institutional Christianity in a way that threatens its power is demonized and considered a heretic. For instance, as I begin to find my voice as an advocate for scandalous grace I am met with much opposition. I have become a staunch advocate for the voice and rights of women. My wife is a female pastor who has continually been subjected to demeaning, misconduct by her male peers and to a much larger construct those within the communities she serves. A few examples of peer oppression are: (1) dress- female pastors are constantly judged and weighed by their appearance and clothing. If a female embraces her femininity and wears clothes that fit she is considered a slut or racy, if she is overweight and wears loose clothes she is considered a slob, if she cries she is considered over-emotional and unable to adequately execute any judgments needed for successful leadership, if she is overpowering people are put off because “women just shouldn’t be that strong”; (2) voice- too soft and you are being seductive, too sarcastic and you are a “bitch”, too insightful and you are dangerous, too loud and you are egotistical, and too radical and you must be put in your place; (3) tolerance- it is generally acceptable that women should just “tolerate” inappropriate comments regardless of their origin or overtone; and finally (4)family- people find it almost impossible to believe that a woman can be both a great mom and a great professional.
I am a heterosexual male and am beginning to find my voice as a staunch supporter of gay and lesbian acceptance and empowerment within the church. This is so threatening to the church institution and somehow to the greater political system that it just makes people mad that I would even tolerate such “people” much less accept them as one of us. It is not enough to “tolerate” and to be silent, for this is in effect to agree with any oppressive system you see occurring. It is doubly offensive to become aware of a system of oppression and remain silent on the matter. Apathy is one of the greatest diseases within our American society today. To do nothing is to approve and that, for me, is no longer adequate or permissible.
I have participated in the domination system in so many ways. I know there are many of which I am yet unaware of but the following are a few that I am now aware of. I am survivor of sexual abuse and yet I have been a minimal advocate for others who have yet to find any voice and even greater who feel isolated and powerless. I realize that my inaction and my voicelessness have propagated the system that silences the voices of the abused for fear that we might as a society become aware of the crisis of abuse in our communities. As one in ministry among this society, I have allowed the voices of peers, who advised me to not ever share my story the power over preventing me from sharing my story in hope that it might empower others to voice theirs. I have, in past relationships both intimate and friendships, participated in the systematic hierarchy of males and females as I interacted quite differently with males and females. I gave males more voice and more power thus allowing them more influence in my life and my choices. I have participated in the myth of redemptive violence by initially advocating the “war on terror” blindly following the “leaders” of our country. I have further participated in this myth by placing my children in front a TV that advocates violence- in particular MMA. My family recently attended a wrestling match of one of my students. My three year old son leaned over to me and asked “when are they going to start hitting each other?” That hit me hard knowing that I had exposed him to the myth that beating each other up was a sport and acceptable. Most of all, I have been silent. I have allowed apathy and fear prevent me of finding my voice and acting on that which so often burns inside of me.
We resist the domination system and its myth of redemptive violence by action and voice. We must, as awake and sober people, pursue a persistent resistance to all injustice which comes into our view. We must sensitize ourselves first and then put words to our ideologies and then action to this purpose. We must combat apathy and act with hope in justice. Even when failure seems imminent, we must engage in a persistent resistance for all those around us who go about life unaware and apathetic to the lies they are being fed.
Are we really free? Again, my name is Zeke Allen and I will seek a persistent resistance to systematic domination. I won’t be put down, silenced even if I am let down, kicked out and shut out. I will not go away. If a door closes, I will find a window to crawl through. “Hope comes in the morning. Today and every one after that I will tenaciously seek awareness and action. My prayer and mantra shall be: “Open my eyes, set my feet on justice’s path and let me pursue truth beyond comfort”.