Tranparent and Wanting

I am broken. I am tired of apologizing for this. People just need to get over it. Every struggle others have with this reality is a "pot kettle" conversation so today I am done with it. So who gives a crap that I screw up all the time and am certainly broken- wholly flawed and hopelessly found wanting.

Why is it then, that I still feel guilt every day because I can't get it right? Because I fail to meet expectations others put on me? Because I fail to perfect husbandry, fatherhood, and Christendom?

I dare say that it is honestly my lack of faith and hopeless insecurity as a man of God. My sarcasm attempts to cover my insecurities only to come across as arrogance and jaded elitist pageantry.

I am of total depravity. Today I sit in a room with hundreds of pastors who have served more years than I have been alive. How do I then even begin to reconcile my complete "suckiness" as a pastor, Christian, and human? Doesn't honesty blow?

The Prophetic Voice

Finding one's voice is a life-long journey. I am not speaking to the vernacular nor the articulation of one's native language. I am speaking to the God-made prophetic voice within each individual that sees and wants to speak truth to individuals and situations that need critique and correction. So what's the problem with us all to use and speak to the voice within us?

I believe it is blood. You will bleed when you begin to use this voice. You will make good friends angry- even violently seeking retributive justice for your words which cut so deep. The speak truth, is to invite conflict but also ignite change. People resist change at almost any cost.

I hope I can find enough courage, enough guts to use the prophetic voice God has put inside me for it has become like a burning coal shut up in my bones and I have become weary of holding it in and indeed I cannot.

May we all strive to give voice to that which lies within us all for then true joy, true character, authentic living rises and lives.