Fought the Fight

It has been a long nine weeks. Even with all the angels and dear, sweet people who surrounded me, the darkness swirls at bay. Why am I so weak? So vulnerable? So defenseless? I have begun the downward spiral. I feel it happening as I type. You would think I would have learned by now how to navigate these waters. Blockhead! Stiff necked! Fool! For one who faithfully goes to therapy every week, I seem to be digressing. Piroetting out of control blown by the sickness inside of me. I think sometimes I am just a whinner and should just get over myself and go on with everything like the rest of the world yet I stay here. In the mire and muck. Trudge here and trudge there. Blah, blah, blah. To have the drive I say I have I sure am spineless when it comes to this. Trudge, trudge, trudge.
Grey clouds enfold
dove ner be found
inside rage
red and flamming
piercing bold
yet eerly quiet
modeled as a ghost
haunting
daunting
Go away!
silence
whisper remains
Deaf
Dumb
Go away!
Stay!
ole friend who I know well
Grey remains.