Blaspheme At Its Best

So my lack of posts lately tell well of my health. I have been inadequately managing my time and foolishly hoarding the tasks of the church and life rather than empowering others to be the church. Church work is awesome and hard or maybe hard and then awesome- it depends on the day. I am called to instruct teenagers on how to live a God-filled life, encourage them, love them, and support them when I myself pretty much sucked at life as a teen. Humbling-yes. Humorous- completely. Sad- often. Convicting- beyond comfort. I am a hypocrite- I preach on things that I struggle with myself, teach on things that I have yet to grasp and instruct on lifestyles and living that I completely botch. So here I am again- a child of God's grace, surrounded by God's mercy and somehow hopeful that I will still be used. Like a broken pot trying to carry water to those in need- I lose a LOT along the way but every once-in-a-while I get some to people who need it and again feel purpose, hope, and usefulness.
I need to rediscover patience, unearth the mission and vision in my heart and equip all those around me. My life and my vocation are so completely bound together there is no separating the two- no identifying one apart from the other- there is "no turning back" as the hymn says. I am His even on my worst days. I pray for the courage to change the things I can, the insight to know the things I can't change and the wisdom to know the difference between the two. I just have today- so today I shall try my best to color outside the lines- listen and feel for the Spirit and try my best not to completely botch the task and mission at hand knowing that it is solely by God's divine and lavish grace that I can do what I do. I am blessed to do this, cursed by my failures and completely helplessly in love with my God. May I stay always and forever in love and I hope that I might have the courage to share a lot of love along the way. I am blessed, richly blessed.